~aksis~

MarcLyndon

IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD

• A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" because he was breathing
• Medical research money would be spent on birth control methods for men.
• Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
• Baby-sitting, doing dishes and making beds would be considered "Macho".
• The hem of men's pants would go up or down depending on the economy.
• Men would be forced to purchase overpriced clothes every season.
• Minnie Mouse would get equal billing with Mickey.
• The ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds for women.
• Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles.
• PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
• Men would come with papers showing their true identity, marital and employment status, if they live with their mother, and whether they have had their shots.
• Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
• Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
• "Ms Magazine" would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad males.
• Men who designed women's shoes would be forced to wear them.
• Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
• Men would be as attentive AFTER marriage as they were before.
• Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for no credit.
• Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".
• Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.
• Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
• Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
• Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
• Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
• Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.
• All toilet seats would be nailed down.
• Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
• TV news segments on sports would never run longer than one minute.
• All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.
• Men would have their wedding rings permanently attached so they can't pretend to be single.
• During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year old boys.

Men would learn phrases like:

1. I'm sorry
2. I love you
3. You're beautiful
4. Of course you don't look fat in that outfit
5. Go to sleep-I'll take care of the baby